bad tv

ever see fire from below (it's a movie)... the first ten minutes have to be the worst written movie with the most illogical premise i've ever seen and that is saying a lot... just watching it made me feel stupid and distracted me from whatever i was thinking about writing about after the basketball game, which i grudgingly watched because i like tim duncan and tony parker and therefore i like san antonio... as usual, the refs dominated the game, calling three cheap fouls on duncan in less than a minute which lead to a come back by memphis and as if there was any doubt that the refs were deciding the outcome of games (scripted sports really suck), the flop acting job that game memphis 4 points to tie at the end of regulation should be a fine (as flopping and faking injury is a fine), but the refs bought the acting and called a flagrant foul... to a man every announcers was laughing at how stupid and wrong the ref's call was... but the refs game memphis the overtime chance (while ignoring calls that should have been called all game, like the one on randolph that knocked duncan down in overtime that wasn't called) and memphis got the overtime... great script... san antonio won because duncan would not be denied, but it was still the refs game way too much... all first quarter hard fouls across both arms were ignored, then petty fouls were called almost entirely on san antonio (san antonio went almost the whole 4th quarter without taking a foul shot... tired memphis who are known for aggressive play who were playing poorly suddenly stopped fouling in the last quarter?) in the last quarter, especially the last seven minutes...

meanwhile, just when i though fire from below couldn't get worse there is "bubba" (you knew he was bubba cuz his speech was a stereotype of backwoods english and he wore a baseball cap with "bubba" on it, duh) going to the out house and of course the fire from below sought him out and below the outhouse to smithereens... somehow, the whole intact toilet can crashing down to the ground a hundred feet away (directly in front of the camera) and it was not only intact, but did not smash... must have been dropped there from about ten feet or less... no talent in this movie anywhere, especially not the writers or director...

then you've got the backwoods black guy making out with his girl in the pick up truck who needs to take a leak and of course the fire from below finds his urine stream and boom... then it shots into the back of the pick-up as the stereotype girl drives off (seems it doesn't want her, just the hay in the back of the pick-up) and it ignore the girl and the other girl who pulls her out of the truck down the road...

but the worst part of the film is the scientific premise of the story that there is some sentient isotope of lithium that seeks out people and boats to burn them and blow them up... it, the fire (burning lithium?) is supposed to be seeking water, but comes up out of a lake in a straight line and it flies over a lake chasing a water skier and then a boat... then suddenly, no more fire after it blows up the skier and boat... so much for the premise that the lithium isotope burns when it mixes with water... the most amazing thing about the sentient deliberate people killer lithium isotope that burns when and where it wants to and smells like rotten eggs is it waits for the cameras to be on it to do it's thing... it seems to takes direction better than any of the actors... unless it's the director making the actors look bad, or at least helping...